Tuesday, July 31, 2001
It's taken me nearly a month to remember that France
is a socialist country...people litter intentionally
here...otherwise, the people who clean the streets
would be out of work, and how is that going to help
the unemployment? I think socialism must be
contagious as i've begun to litter.
-- French Dispatcher
posted at 10:15 PM
Monday, July 30, 2001
dc was entirely uneventful. I basically had a couple meals with my family. we went innertubing in west virginia. it was a little boring. the river was running really s l o w l y and i am much lighter than all the people i went with so i was always way ahead of everyone and had to keep paddling back to them. but who cares. for some reason i am increasingly less concerned with how i spend my time, lately. i dont know if thats a good thing or a bad thing or a sign of depression or of happiness. who cares?
--Touchdown
posted at 7:08 PM
What the hell?
Why aren't there new submissions to zipern.com? What's the problem here?
posted at 7:03 PM
This was stolen from the 'comments' bulletin board just outside the Conde Nast cafeteria. Not only did the publisher of Vanity Fair and The New Yorker spring for a stunning lunch room designed by Frank Gehry, they've kindly set up a public forum to answer worker questions.
The humility and gratitude of the employee who penned this question really shows through.
(Note also the the weirdly earnest reply from cafeteria management.)
posted at 6:55 PM
posted at 6:45 PM
Tuesday, July 17, 2001
The "fascist chic" trend patterns have been pointed out by various critics in recent years. And so, let there be a "fascist chick" to take upon her shoulders the proper mantle. I won't bother exploring for you the production history of this film, it isn't necessary. Jon and Marcheline always did strike me as somewhat...aseptic. The Demon Seed, Nero, cutters! Allegedly, this little "glass shadow" of a sex-pot has tattoos of a cross, a dragon, an "Indian" symbol (do we deign suppose?) and the Japanese character for "death," ahem. Distribute the film in partibus infidelium, Fulgur the Fulminator!
In my horror, I was compelled to spread the word about this one. LOOK AT THE BELT-BUCKLE, IF YOU DARE:
http://www.tombraiders.com/Movie/gallery/TRmoviepostergood.jpg
-- Strength Through Failure
posted at 8:10 PM
Last night I noticed that my shrink as a *subscription* to Oprah's magazine. Would that make you want to cancel sessions with her ?
-- AllnStrtt
posted at 8:10 PM
Subject: my mom loves Circuits
SniffyX: Mom!
SniffyX: Do not panic. This is what buddy lists are for.
SniffyX: You can type in this box and then press "send."
SniffyX: Oh boy. Hello?
SniffyX: This is real time. I am sitting at my desk. I can see that you
are online. If you look at your buddy list, you will see "sniffyx" there.
And "rebeccanyt."
JWAurthur: THIS KEYBOARD IS DIFFERENT AND I CAN'T FIND HOW
TO MAKE THINGS IN LOWER AND CASE.
SniffyX: On the lefthand side of the keyboard in between the tab and the
shift there is a key called "caps lock". Hit it once.
JWAurthur: Buddy List WindowI
I have about six screens on this thing. How do I
get rid of them and feed Tobey?
SniffyX: Do you want to sign off?
JWAurthur: Yes. Get me out of here....please.
is thiswhere
SniffyX: Go up to sign off along the top and pull it down to sign off.
Love you!
JWAurthur: What is BuddyView?
SniffyX: Where does it say that?
And then she was gone...
posted at 8:09 PM
"There are positive aspects to being old," she wrote. "Worry, if not gone altogether, no longer haunts you in the middle of the night. And you are free -- or freer -- to turn down the things that bore you and spend time on matters and with people you enjoy."
-- Katharine Graham
posted at 2:10 PM
Thursday, July 12, 2001
The Grim Reaper Haunts the Lawns of Morris Plains
"Every day I travel down Route 202 to get to Route 80. On the
southbound side of 202 in Morris Plains, there's a beautifully manicured
lawn with a circular driveway. Right next to the garage is a 6-8 Ft. tall
Grim Reaper. It's truly bizarre, especially since the lawn and house are
painstakingly meticulous. The property is beautiful. Why go through all
the trouble just to put a giant harbinger of death out front? It's
been there at least 5 years. – Gerry Dela Cruz
posted at 8:39 PM
"They don't have the A-Team. We have the fucking A-Team."
-- Tan Man
posted at 3:05 PM
Y. Oh, hell, I rant and rail against the Literary
Establishment all the time, qualified or not. For example
I've tried and tried, but I just can't stomach most of
what's now being called "The post-realistic fiction." I
can't read John Barth with anything but irritation. I can't
read Donald Barthelme at all. I can read hardly any of the
many other new "post-realists," whatever their
ever-increasingly famous names may be. I know it's all very
fashionable stuff and I know it provides an endless supply
of witty little intellectual puzzles and puns and fun and
games for graduate students to play with, but it's
emotionally empty. It isn't felt.
-- Richard Yates
posted at 2:43 PM
Wednesday, July 11, 2001
William Shatner has joined Bernie Mac, Jennifer Tilly, and Carmen
Electra in voicing characters for Revolution Studio's upcoming
animated feature film project, "L'il Pimp." According to Variety,
the film will tell the story of a nine-year old kid and his pimp
pals, Fruitjuice and Nagchampa, and a gerbil named Weathers who
suffers from Tourette's Syndrome. "Pimp" is scheduled for a 2002
release and is geared towards fans of "South Park."
posted at 1:10 AM
Tuesday, July 10, 2001
"The ball was small sometimes, the ball was large sometimes, sometimes I saw the catcher, sometimes I didn't."
-- Doc Ellis on the no-hitter game he pitched on L.S.D.
Full Story
posted at 11:50 AM
KILLER MOTHER PAYS IN SPUDS
July 10, 2001 -- A desperate Russian mom hired a hit man
to kill her son - and then paid the executioner with six
sacks of potatoes, cops say.
Police claim the 36-year-old mother decided times were so
hard, that she could no longer afford to take care of her
jobless, 19-year-old son.
The killer bludgeoned his victim to death and buried him in
a cornfield.
He was then rewarded with the potatoes because the
woman had no money, Moscow authorities say.
Both the mother and alleged hit man are in custody and
could face the death penalty if found guilty of murder.
-- Jimmy P.
posted at 11:44 AM
This is a poem made up entirely of actual quotes from George W. Bush.
The quotes have been arranged only for aesthetic purposes, by Washington
Post writer Richard Thompson.
I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty
and potential mental losses.
Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the internet
become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?
They misunderestimate me.
I am a pit bull on the pant leg of opportunity.
I know that the human being
and the fish can coexist
Families is where our nation finds hope,
where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize Society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!
posted at 11:36 AM
"I surrounded myself with the wrong team, and I didn't know which way to go with the ball."
-- Mickey Rourke on The Tonight Show
posted at 2:38 AM
AllnStrtt's favorite
posted at 2:35 AM
Saturday, July 07, 2001
Saturday, July 07, 2001
EITHER THIS OR TWO OR THREE PERFECT WORDS
"And frankly, most friendships are fairly shallow and based on some fizzy table talk and youthful enthusiasm and some common experience that fades pretty quickly. A true friend is someone you could call up and say, 'I'm a wreck and I'm coming over and staying with you for a couple days.' Or you could say, 'I'm sorry to call you at 3 a.m. but I'm sitting in a truck stop confused and missing my pants and need you to come get me.'"
-- Garrison Keillor, Mr. Blue
(ty benvoluto)
posted at 3:04 AM
Sunday, July 01, 2001
Hello...
My name is Nining. I am from Indonesia, and now I at last
semester at Brawijaya University. I have a paper about tofu
nuggets, so I want to know about functional protein or
component in tofu. Beside that I need some information about
tofu nuggets. Thanks
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posted at 1:26 PM
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